Catching up

It's been a LONG time since my last post.  I've been WAY busy with my new job, but more on that in a minute.  As of today I am 26 weeks and 5 days pregnant.  I was sitting in the kitchen today and realized that my due date is 14 weeks away, which is about 3 months.  After having a minor mental breakdown, I went through everything that still needs to be done before the baby is born.

The nursery needs to be finished.  We have our base coat on the bottom of the walls and now all we have left is a little touch-up here and there and adding the stripes at the bottom.  Here's a picture of where we are at currently.

 

We also are looking into health insurance and life insurance that we'd like to have ready when the baby comes.  Now that I've got a paying job, we can afford luxuries like these.  We also have to finish registering for the baby shower.  We've done Target and now we've got Babies r Us and Walmart.  It's just been so hard to find a time to do it when we both are feeling decent and have the time.  I know there was more on that list of things to-do, but my mind is on my queasy tummy at the moment.

My 2nd trimester has flown by faster than I ever thought possible.  I've heard stories about how women have felt as if they'd be "pregnant for ever".  I don't think I'll have to worry about that!   This pregnancy has FLOWN by!  We had an ultrasound at 20 weeks that revealed a healthy baby.  I have LOVED showing off my ultrasound pictures and because of this, here they are!

We weren't planning on finding out the gender of the baby so right now we just use "he" or "she" interchangeably. The baby is kicking like crazy and loves to make itself known after meals and just before bedtime.  I always looked forward to feeling the baby move and have not been disappointed!  Unfortunately, this post is going to have to end before I want it to.  I'm afraid my first trimester symptoms (ie. nausea) are coming back.

Home Birth

I'm not sure if I've posted about wanting a home water birth.  I've told most of my family members my intentions, and I've gotten the whole spectrum of reactions from my mom's "Go for it!" to my Uncle's "I will keep my opinion to myself unless it's asked for."  I knew I would get reactions like that though.  You may be one of the extreme reactions I received, or maybe you're somewhere in between.  I have many reasons for wanting to labor and give birth at home.  Most of them are reasons others have for doing the same thing; then there are the very personal reasons.

1. It's a better transition for the baby to go from a water environment in the womb to a water environment outside the womb.  
2. The water helps to ease the pain of labor considerably.  
3. Being in warm water helps the perineum to stretch and there's less chance of tearing during the birth.
4. I would like to give birth in a calm environment.  I don't want doctors or nurses running around yelling for instruments, yelling at me to push/not push/count/how to push/etc., or telling me what I am or am not allowed to do while I wait for the birth of my child.  I would like  to give birth in a quiet room, with the lights dimmed, candles lit, relaxing music in the background, and the ability to eat or drink whatever and whenever I want.
5. I know that women have been giving birth naturally without the aid of drugs or medication for centuries.  I know God made my body to know what to do when the time comes.
6. I want my husband to be able to bring our child into the world.  Fathers are never allowed to catch their baby as it is born while in a hospital setting.  My husband will be catching our first child (and hopefully subsequent children) as it is born.  And I must say, he is SUPER excited to have such a big part in the birth!
7. Lastly, and most importantly, I wanted to give full control of this pregnancy and birth to the ultimate caregiver!  It took me a long time in my personal life to give control of my happiness to God.  I was convinced that I wouldn't be happy unless I had a job, a house, and a baby.  As long as those were my thoughts, I remained unhappy and utterly depressed.  I finally realized, after a couple years, that God would never bless me with what I wanted unless I would be happy with the life he had blessed me with at that moment.  I had to learn to be content with my life, which was no easy task and took close to a year.  When I had honestly reevaluated my life and was able to honestly be content with where I was in life, things started to change.  My husband and I were able to buy a house less than 2 blocks from the church where my husband works.  We felt so blessed!  I was so happy with life.  Then I started to think if only we had a baby.  That's when we found out we were pregnant and had a miscarriage all in one week.  It shook us to the core, especially me.  I began to reevaluate my thoughts and life again and tried to get back on track.  On a side note, my little sister has had problems conceiving as well and I knew that if I got pregnant first, it would affect her terribly.  I was finally able to be content with my life again that I secretly prayed she would get pregnant first.  I truly meant it too.  Not long after, we found out we were expecting again.  I decided that the only way I would be able to trust God with 100% of my life was to give 100% of the control with the pregnancy and birth over to him.  I am trying to live out my faith by trusting him with my life as well as the life of my unborn child.  And even though at times it's a little unnerving, I know that whatever happens will be God's Will.  I feel relieved to know that he has control and not me or some doctor.  Especially since he has also blessed me with a job!  Shortly after we found out we were expecting, I was contacted by a woman who wanted to hire me as a full-time homeschool teacher for her three kids!  Both my husband and I trusted that, if God were to bless us with a baby, he would also bless us with the means to provide for that baby.  How's that for proof that there is a God and he will bless you if you put your full trust in him!

I know I will still be getting strange reactions to my decision to birth at home in the water, and I'm sure I will have some try to talk me out of it.  However, I feel I have the ultimate answer to their concerns: I put my trust in God to handle every aspect of my pregnancy and birth.  Who better could I find than the ultimate caregiver?

The Nursery

This week we got to start painting the nursery for our little blessing.  We started out with a completely white room.  It now has some color.  A light brown will be the main color of the room with accents of yellow, green, red, and a darker brown.  As you can probably tell, they're pretty much neutral colors.  This is due to the fact that we won't be finding out the gender of the baby until it makes it's debut into this world.  Here's the plan for what we want the room to look like.

We've decided to go with a Winnie the Pooh theme.  I can't decide if I want the leaves around the outline of Pooh or if I want to go with bees.  I'm rather picky about my Winnie the Pooh, however.  I told my hubby that if we were to decide on that particular theme for the nursery, I didn't want classic Pooh, baby Pooh, or pink or blue Pooh.  I want the Pooh with the neutral colors.  And I prefer just Pooh.  I don't have anything against his little friends, but I like Pooh the best and would like to have just Pooh.  Anyways, here's the room and what we started out with.  I'll post "after" pictures once we finish!

I'm sort of at a loss of what to do with the tiny window.  It's the only window in the room, so I don't want to cover it up too much so the natural light can come in.  I'm thinking of going with sheer curtains.  I'm also not sure how long to get/make them.  I considered having them go down to about halfway between the window and the outlet.  Surely that's not too long or too short.  We also decided today while painting that we will be getting rid of the closet doors (on the wall to the right) and putting up curtains instead, mainly due to the doors being the sliding ones on a track.  They keep getting stuck or jumping off the track and I don't want to have to mess with them.  Anyways, we have bought a full bed that will probably go against the wall with the window for when my parents or inlaws come to visit.  When it's not in use, I'll dress it up as a day bed.  The crib will go against the left wall in the corner you can't see.  Of course the furniture can be moved around, so it may not end up where I think it will.  It's just a matter of getting everything in there and seeing what works where.  I'll try to take an updated picture tomorrow so you can see the color of the walls.

Trunk-or-Treat 2012

This year for our annual Trunk-or-treat, we decided to down-grade our "car".  Instead of using our car we decided to use a little wagon (we thought it'd be cute).  We both dressed up as pirates and hubby handed out the candy for the pirate ship.  Here's the photos I took this year.

Hubby sitting next to our "vehicle" for trunk-or-treat.

Hubby and I with our pirate ship.

Our vessel!

Christmas ball wreath

I have been busy updating all of my posts today and thought I'd post my newest art project!  I've been seeing a lot of Christmas ball wreaths all over pinterest and decided I'd like to try one.  Mine was a little more expensive (around $30 total) but I LOVE the outcome!  What do you think?

It took a couple of hours simply because I didn't buy enough balls.  So I just made the hanger circle a little tighter so that the wreath was a little smaller.  I used small silver and blue balls to fill in the gaps and the ribbon on top to hide the fact that I ran out of balls.  Not bad for a first try if I do say so myself!

Another new piece to the puzzle

I wrote a few months ago about a tutoring website I put my info on and prayed for something to come of it.  Well, something did!  I was contacted about a month ago by a woman with 3 kids.  Her husband is getting transferred to our city and she is looking for a full time homeschool teacher to teach her kids!  I jumped on the opportunity!  I will probably be starting after the first of the year, but I just can't wait to start!  I guess God wants me to continue teaching the way I am!  What a tremendous blessing this will be to my husband and I, especially with a new baby on the way.  We always said that if God wanted us to start a family, he would also provide us with the means to support that family.  He has answered our prayers once again!  Thank you God!

Ending the first Trimester

It's been a while since I've posted due to the overwhelming changes that have been happening.  As of tomorrow I will be 12 weeks pregnant and finally ending the "critical" point of pregnancy.  I have been slightly afraid of a miscarriage, but I also know that God wouldn't have had me go this long if it weren't for the reason of having this baby.  My symptoms are not as full-blown as they were 3 weeks ago and I now have more good days than bad.  I'm getting better sleep and my nausea is less than it was, though it's still a problem.  I've noticed another side-effect that I can honestly say I didn't expect.  I have become (though I am very ashamed to say it) selfish.  I find I am focused on myself a lot more than I ever have been and am voicing my opinions very matter-of-factually.  If you knew me before I became pregnant this would be impossible for you to comprehend; I used to be a very shy and cautious person when it came to saying things around people.  Now I just don't care.  I've had friends tell me that it's normal and that I'm supposed to be a little selfish, that I'm not just thinking about myself, but the baby too.  This is true.  I think about this little thing growing inside me every second of every day. 

I'm looking forward to Sunday (today is Friday) because this is when we are telling the rest of the world about our big news.  Sure our family and close friends know, but our church family and distant friends don't know yet.  I also can't wait to tell the group who where with us when we had our miscarriage.  They will be so excited for us and even more excited when they actually get to see the baby.  We have planned out how were are telling everyone.  My husband usually gets up to make youth announcements at the end of the church service.  He will get up and make his announcements like normal and then announce that we are starting a home expansion project on our new house.  We will need lots of help with it because we've never done something like this before.  Then he'll say, "We are expanding our home by two feet.  Two tiny little feet!"  I can just imagine the cheers that will ring out.  After church, we will come home and on facebook I will but as my status "We made a plan, God laughed, then he showed us his plan.  Sometimes we tend to forget that God is in charge of our lives and not us.  We wanted to start a family over a year and a half ago, but God had other plans.  Now he has shown us what HIS plans are and guess what?  Baby Monk will be arriving June 2013!"  I can't wait to see all the comments I will get on this status!

I still have difficulty comprehending that our lives are about to change forever.  It's been just my husband and I for over 4 years (married for 4, together for 3 before that).  Even though we've heard a little bit of a heartbeat, even though I'm beginning to show already and I still have symptoms, I still can't wrap my head around the thought.  We're even collecting baby stuff and looking for a crib, stroller, carseat, etc. and I still can't imagine how much our lives are about to change.  I also kind of feel detached from my baby.  I guess I'm afraid to feel something in the off chance that something happens.  I am confident that it won't, but I still can't shake the fear, probably because of my past miscarriage.

Our next appointment with the midwife is Monday and we will almost definitely get to hear a full heartbeat this time.  She will also try to see if she can more accurately pinpoint my due date by seeing how big I am.  I may also be relieved of my restrictions since I've made it to 12 weeks.  We shall see!